remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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