I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
