I hope mine doesn't look like that
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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