Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
