You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
