If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
