We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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