doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, beer. Big fan.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize