I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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