i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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