My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
