Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize