The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
