it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
