pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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