I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
