I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
