I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize