i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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