i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize