Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
