All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
