Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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