He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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