my sisters under your porch take her home
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
