I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
