I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is wine microwaveable?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
