he was CRYING into my vagina
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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