Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's great music for shaving your balls
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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