You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
