You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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