Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
