i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
