i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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