So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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