I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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