I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize