ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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