Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
