idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
