You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
