I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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