Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
