Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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