i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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