Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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