Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I need moral support for this bender
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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