So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
