I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
