Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
