Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
