He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
