Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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