I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
