508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we're making bets on your personal life
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize