Joe is yelling at the trees again.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
pray to the hookup gods
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
