hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
