Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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