So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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