I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
