I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
