Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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