she smelled like a LAN party
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
