you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
