I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Come share oat with me in your robe
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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