Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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