I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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