we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
