i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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