i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
